How to Die to Yourself as a Single Christian

In the previous post, I explained the meaning of John 12:24, and ultimately, how it applies to single Christians.  God wants us to produce good fruit, and that means that we ought to become more Christ-like, but it also means that we should make more Christians.  As single adults, our mandate is to die to ourselves so that we can produce that fruit.

The Solution

The big question is, "How do we die to ourselves?"  Often thoughts of constant prayer, Bible reading, going to church pop in our heads.  (By the way, if those are things that you don't like to do, then you should re-examine your relationship with Jesus; if you love him, those things will not be a drag.)  As well, we think of ways that we can avoid temptation and sin, assuming that taking up our cross requires piety.  Also, we think of ways that we can become more full of faith, hope, and love—the three most important Christian virtues that exemplify Christian growth.

Dying to ourselves is answered much more simply than attempting to apply a self-help book to our lives.

Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.  Not so with you.  Instead whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mat. 20:25-28 NIV)

Becoming servants to all is an extension of dying to ourselves.  We don't want to serve other people, but we want to be served.  To produce Godly fruit, we must become servants to all.

Servitude combats selfishness.  If we can serve others, we'll be able to serve our future spouse and children well.  We have to build and grow our own character before we can shape the character of others.  If we want to become leaders, we must become servants first.  If we involve ourselves in public ministry without a servant's heart, we destroy ourselves and those souls we would rather see in Heaven.

The Reward of Servitude

We often neglect the actual outcome of servitude in our lives.  Do you remember the story Jesus told about the sheep and the goats?

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'" (Mat 25:34-40 NIV)

We have eternal rewards for public service.  Since we don't see those rewards in our lives right now, we easily ignore the fact that they are being stored up for us in Heaven.  Every time you give a glass of water to a child, it is the same as giving it to Jesus Christ himself.  Could you imagine that instead of giving clothes to a homeless person, you're actually giving them to Jesus?

What can I do?

Firstly, we should remember to take care of our own families before we try to make the world a better place (1Ti. 3:4-5).  If you have a grandmother in an assisted living facility, go visit her on a regular basis (1Ti. 5:4).  Is your brother in jail for drug possession?  If he'll accept your visits, go see him!  Is a nearby cousin without a father or a mother?  Why don't you go take her to the park and spend time with her? 

There are many kinds of community service that we can provide outside of family situations.  Here are just three right off the top of my head:

• Volunteering at animal shelters
• Spending time with residents at nursing homes
• Prison ministry

About nine years ago, I believe God directed me to take care of my grandmother.  I came to live with her for six years, and helped her take care of her sister who had Alzheimer's Disease.  I provided transportation, company, upkeep for our huge yard during the summer, I often cooked for her, I helped take care of her bills, and attempted to control her hoarding as best I could so that we could both live in the same place.  I was there for her when she had a stroke, and I visited her in a nursing home for almost three years.  She passed away this January, and so that chapter of my life is finished.  I'm now looking for the next opportunity God creates.

So, consider what you can do to benefit your family or community.  Read  James 1:27.

A Single Seed

 

Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. (John 12:24 NIV)

 

That quote by Jesus was made during the last week before his crucifixion in Jerusalem.  When some Greeks requested to see Jesus, He responded by predicting his death and resurrection using a parable-like axiom.  Next, Jesus used it to explain how we ought to live our lives.  As single adults, we can be certain that this axiom has special meaning for us as well.

Jesus' Death and Resurrection

It's because Jesus died and rose again that we can have new life and fellowship with God.  John 1:1-2 states that He existed from the beginning, and that he was with God.  Jesus fell to the ground when he came down to Earth (John 1:14).  He died (John 19:30), and after his resurrection, he built the Church (Luke 24:46-49, Acts 2).

The Church at Large

In John 12:25 Jesus said, "Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life" (NIV).  Although he was speaking about his own death in the previous verse, he was also explaining that his statement about a kernel of wheat also applies to us as well.

As believers, we must daily die to ourselves.  Jesus commanded us to tell the whole world about his free offering of eternal life and forgiveness of sins, but only when we die to ourselves will we be able to produce more believers in Jesus as the Christ.

God loves all of us and will never leave or forsake us, but in order for us to die to ourselves, we must "fall to the ground."  We are those kernels of wheat in the Master's hand.  He does not let go of us to abandon us, but to allow us to grow.  In our most difficult times we often think that God ignores us or doesn't answer our prayers, but it's in this way that he makes us die to ourselves.

Single Seeds

Of course, our primary goal as Christian singles is to produce good fruit.  It means that we should become more Christ-like, but it also means that we should produce more believers and build a community of believers.

Many of us singles hope that one day we can build our own families, and that is no less spiritual of a goal as conventional evangelization.  With a Godly spouse, we would be able to produce Godly offspring who can learn about our Heavenly Father and his Son.

As believing singles, our goal shouldn't be to find a spouse, but to die to ourselves.  No, this isn't something easy to put into practice, and when we're dying to ourselves, it doesn't feel very good.  However, in the long run, we will have a more fulfilling relationship with our future spouse and children.

"But how do I find the one that God has made for me unless I look for her?"  You must die to yourself.

Look around you!  How many broken relationships and families do you see around you!?  They're everywhere, even in the Church!  Do you think that these broken families were caused by faith or by sin?  If you really want to have a fulfilling, Godly relationship, you must wait until God gives it to you.

But Until Then...

Jesus gave a simple "formula" for growth using his own death and resurrection as an example.  We use it corporately and individually for evangelization, but as individuals, we must learn to die to ourselves to become more Christ-like and receive those fulfilling relationships for which we long.  It's not an easy path, but we choose to take it because we want to please God.